The Burden

A few weeks ago I went to a Bible study at our church where we watched a video featuring the teaching of Earl and Oneka McClellan. They were discussing leadership, and one of the things they pointed to as crucial for an effective leader was a burden. A burden is what leads you to action. It drives your decisions, and it keeps you committed to those decisions when things get tough. As a believer, you see something that's not right, or you sense a great need, and the Lord puts a burden on your heart to do something about it.

When I heard the McClellans' description of the burden, it resonated with me. It reminded me of what we often refer to as "calling" when we talk about ministry and missions. Or maybe God makes the burden and the calling work together to push us where He wants us to go. It was the burden that led us to the mission field three and a half years ago. And now it's another burden that's led us back from the mission field to remain in the States.

I've shared on this blog about my father's declining health and the toll it has taken on my mom over the past year and a half. When he first went into the hospital (March 2020), Covid had just hit the U.S., so my mom sent him off on an ambulance and didn't see him for several weeks. My heart ached with the desire to be with her in those days of great stress and loneliness, but travel wasn't an option. I tried to be supportive from afar, calling my mom every day and praying for her constantly. And the Lord, always faithful, took care of both of them—and of me. But I began to wonder whether I could honor them more by living near them rather than a continent away.

Being near my parents was not the only burden on my heart. The need in Mozambique had not diminished; in fact, it had grown and would continue to grow, as thousands of displaced peoples flooded into Pemba fleeing violence. This did not appear to be the time to exit or retreat. Our team was setting three-year goals for what we believed the Lord was leading us to accomplish in our city and province. On top of that, our family had developed close friendships with nationals and other missionaries in our area; we had all settled into Pemba and our kids were doing great.

Still, the burden to care for my parents weighed on my heart. As we came back to the U.S. in April for our planned six-month Stateside Assignment, we wondered whether or how the Lord would make it clear to us what to do. Our plan was to return to Mozambique after six months unless the Lord clearly opened a door for us to stay close to our parents. During those six months, my mom was diagnosed with a health issue of her own, and Harvey's mother was hospitalized several times as well. Harvey's sister and her family began caring for three children of another family member (in addition to her own four boys), so we also found ourselves helping them with their kids from time to time. We tried to make the most of our time in the U.S., connecting with and speaking at churches about our missions work and experience and spending lots of time with Stateside family and friends. And we waited.

With my sister-in-law Summer at the Pioneer Woman's Lodge 

All the cousins on Harvey's side of the family

With my sweet mom

Through all of those months, God placed another burden on our hearts, a burden for our local church in Oklahoma City: Portland Avenue Baptist Church. Back in Mozambique, months earlier, we learned that Portland's pastor of 29 years was planning to transition out of the pastorate. As Pastor Walter was making that decision, the Lord put Harvey on his heart, and he asked whether Harvey would be interested in following him and becoming Portland's next pastor. We agreed to send Harvey's resume to the church's transition team and began praying about this possibility. Harvey had been a pastor for five years in Tulsa before we moved to DC, and since then he had missed pastoring and had a desire to return to the pastorate someday. We wondered whether this might be the Lord's way of opening a door for us to stay near our parents while at the same time serving this local body in an area of Oklahoma City with great need and great potential, where we could use our missions experience to help the church reach the community and the world.

On October 10, after much prayer and many meetings with the transition team, staff, and deacons, as well as conversations with our IMB team and leadership, we accepted the call for Harvey to be the pastor of Portland Avenue Baptist Church. God provided a way for us to respond to the burden He gave us for our parents and for our local church, and we believe He made His desire clear to us, for which we are grateful.

Pastor Walter passing the baton to Harvey
to lead Portland Avenue Baptist Church

However, following His leading in our lives to stay here meant leaving a life, ministry, work, and friends we love in Mozambique, and we had to have heartbreaking conversations with our closest friends and colleagues to let them know our decision. There were some hard questions, understandably, but our colleagues were gracious and kind, and those conversations ended in prayer and encouragement. We cannot let go of the burden the Lord has given us for Mozambique, and we intend to remain engaged in the work there, along with our brothers and sisters at PABC, as much as the Lord provides opportunity.

This blog post is my way of communicating publicly our decision and letting many friends and family know that we are staying in Oklahoma City and not returning to Mozambique. I want to share a few more details about our transition in order to answer some questions you might have.

Kids: Our kids are going to local public schools in Oklahoma City. We enrolled them in the fall, not knowing whether we were staying here or going back, but thinking it would be best just in case we stayed. Tabitha is a junior at Bethany High School. She ran cross country in the fall and will do track in the spring. She is also taking art at school and preparing to get her driver's permit. Ben is a sophomore at Western Heights High School. He played football this fall and plans to do track in the spring. He recently got his driver's permit. Gracie is a freshman at Bethany High School. She also ran cross country, and she's in show choir and recently got a role in the school musical. Judah is in fifth grade at Bridgestone Intermediate Center (Western Heights). She is in honor choir and just started playing basketball. Asher is in kindergarten at Council Grove Elementary (Western Heights). He will start basketball soon. All of the kids are doing well in school academically and socially. We thank the Lord that they are having success in American schools after so many transitions in education over the past three years.

Housing: From April until October, we lived in a mission house generously provided by Southern Hills Baptist Church in south Oklahoma City. The house was furnished and set up with everything we needed, and Southern Hills offers it at no cost to missionaries who are in Oklahoma City for their Stateside Assignment. It was a huge blessing to our family, and we are grateful. Once our six months of Stateside had ended and we decided to stay here, we moved into Harvey's parents' old house, which they had moved out of a few months earlier but had not sold yet. We are living there now, in northwest Oklahoma City, just a couple miles from Harvey's parents and about a twenty-minute drive from mine. We're also only about ten minutes from our church. We plan to stay in this house as we look for a house to buy and settle into; it's really nice that Harvey's parents are allowing us to stay here and we don't have to be in a rush to buy a house, especially in this market.

Me: For now, I'm a stay-at-home mom. I am eager to serve in the church and volunteer in the community as the Lord directs and opens doors. I am also open to working part time at some point—again, as/if the Lord opens doors. I'm not sure about the future of this blog. I began the blog eight years ago when our family moved to DC the first time, as a way to share our adventures living in DC and then in Africa. Our years of living in Oklahoma City probably won't bring the kinds of adventures we've experienced in those places, so maybe my blogging isn't warranted anymore. But I enjoy writing, if for no one else, then for myself, and I trust that the Lord will still bring adventure as He calls us to obey Him in new ways, even if the location isn't as exciting or exotic.

God has put a new burden on our hearts. May that burden motivate us to walk in obedience and faithfulness as he leads us to serve Him and make Him known among new and familiar faces, in a new but familiar place, a place that was once home—and is home once again.