The Parties
I often dread parties, especially ones where I'll only know a person or two. It's a challenge for me to approach someone, introduce myself, and make small talk, but it's even worse to be standing or sitting alone. Even if I do manage to begin a meaningful conversation with someone, I'm constantly wondering whether they are waiting for a moment to politely back away from me so they can find the people they really want to talk to. I realize saying this that I sound like I'm in middle school, awkward and insecure. But I honestly still feel like that awkward, insecure teenager in unfamiliar crowds.
Since we've only lived in DC for about a year, we are still getting to know people, so it's likely that any party I go to is going to be that way. On the other hand, there are so many people from so many places who live here that you almost always run into someone from somewhere unexpected or doing some kind of fascinating work, so it's not only stress-inducing for me but it's exciting at the same time.
So last weekend I had three parties to go to: a birthday party for my neighbor friend's son, which I was taking my kids to; a dinner gathering for the moms' group in my neighborhood; and a Superbowl party at the home of a brother from church.
The neighbor's son's party was at her house, and my plan was to walk the kids over there, stay and chat with my neighbor for a moment, and head back home while they watched a movie. I had sweats and no makeup on. But there was a kink in the plan--other parents were lingering around, chatting and snacking. Since my neighbor is a friend, I felt it would be rude to leave right away, so I greeted and joined the other parents. At first it was just a dad of one kid and a mom of another, and they were both friendly, as I'd expect, but the conversation didn't really go anywhere. Then a couple came in, and I found myself in a conversation with the mom, Brandy, who was kind and easy to talk to. We discussed school (a popular topic for parents in this area) and sports and I found out about a nearby baseball league that might be good for Benjamin. After fifteen or twenty minutes, Brandy and her husband had to leave, and my neighbor was starting the movie for the kids, so I made my exit as well. I had to get back home to change out of my sweats and put my face on to get ready for ...
The next party! The neighborhood moms' gathering was the same night. I got connected to this group while trick-or-treating Halloween night. As we were walking door to door, we met another two families with multiple kids, and one of the moms told me about the group. We exchanged contact info, and it was a while before I heard from her, but she got me on the group's e-mail list. The first gathering I attended was in December, and that one was super stressful for me because I knew no one going in. Even the woman whom I had met Halloween night wasn't there. But as always, my fears subsided as I began meeting other ladies who were friendly and welcoming. Still, I was a bit nervous about this second meeting, because I hadn't communicated with anyone much since the first one, and the same anxieties I mentioned earlier came creeping back.
The party was supposed to be from six to ten, and I arrived around seven, so there was already a good crowd there. The hostess greeted me and I reintroduced myself because I had only met her briefly at the previous party. I gave her my mocha brownies (thank you, Pioneer Woman!) and Sanpellegrino to take to the kitchen, and I put my coat and purse away. Then I walked toward a couple of ladies in conversation, one of whom I'd met before. I introduced myself and began talking with the other lady, and she followed me to the kitchen so I could get a drink. As we made our introductory remarks, I told her I was from Oklahoma, and she said, "Really, where in Oklahoma?" which is normally a sign that someone has a connection with the state. So I told her where we moved from, and she told me she grew up in Enid, OK! On top of that, her father was a pastor. So I don't know if it was the Okie thing or the pastor thing, but we hit it off and we were in conversation almost the whole evening.
I also got to catch up a bit with a couple other moms I'd met before, who actually remembered details about my family. So for the most part, my trepidation disappeared and I was really able to enjoy the night. I also made a new friend and connected better with a couple others that I hope to spend more time with in the future. Once again, nothing to fear after all. You'd think I'd learn ...
So our plans for the Superbowl were to go to our regular Sunday-night pizza hangout and watch on the TVs there. But Sunday morning a brother from church invited us, along with a few other church friends, over to his house for the game. I wasn't excited about changing our plans--I was looking forward to a night with just family at a familiar place, and our friend from church doesn't have young children, so I worried I wouldn't be able to enjoy the game with our kids running around a non-kid-friendly house. Plus I spent the whole day at church--morning service, then a ladies' meeting and then an early evening service, and I didn't know if I had the energy to be on with people through the evening. But Harvey thought we should go, and it was an offer of free food, so we headed over to their house.
We were the first church friends to arrive, and since it was still light and not too cold, Harvey took the kids outside to throw the football around with our host. I stayed in with Judah, and the man's daughter, who's single and in her twenties, sat down with me to talk. She goes to another church, but I already knew her a bit from our Wednesday night Bible study, which she usually attends. We began talking about clothes and shopping (a favorite topic of mine but I don't have many friends who share that interest) and hair--she had a style I liked and I was asking about it for Tabitha. So she and I talked until the food was ready and our other friends arrived. It turned out to be a fun night, and our kids played with other kids who were there, so I got to watch some of the game (if you could call it that!) and commercials with Harvey. We stayed until halftime, and then we took the kids home to get to bed.
So I survived a weekend of parties! Not only survived it but enjoyed it and learned from it. Which means I'm sure I will face the next party I attend with absolute confidence and eagerness to find what new and interesting face I'll meet, what friend I'll discover some obscure or obvious connection with. Or not. But as long as I'm in DC I can expect the unexpected when it comes to whom I'll meet and whom I'll connect with. (See my post The Reality Star for one example.) And whatever surprise meetings and discoveries are in store, they'll enrich my life and give me more to wonder at. Definitely worth the anxiety.
Since we've only lived in DC for about a year, we are still getting to know people, so it's likely that any party I go to is going to be that way. On the other hand, there are so many people from so many places who live here that you almost always run into someone from somewhere unexpected or doing some kind of fascinating work, so it's not only stress-inducing for me but it's exciting at the same time.
So last weekend I had three parties to go to: a birthday party for my neighbor friend's son, which I was taking my kids to; a dinner gathering for the moms' group in my neighborhood; and a Superbowl party at the home of a brother from church.
The neighbor's son's party was at her house, and my plan was to walk the kids over there, stay and chat with my neighbor for a moment, and head back home while they watched a movie. I had sweats and no makeup on. But there was a kink in the plan--other parents were lingering around, chatting and snacking. Since my neighbor is a friend, I felt it would be rude to leave right away, so I greeted and joined the other parents. At first it was just a dad of one kid and a mom of another, and they were both friendly, as I'd expect, but the conversation didn't really go anywhere. Then a couple came in, and I found myself in a conversation with the mom, Brandy, who was kind and easy to talk to. We discussed school (a popular topic for parents in this area) and sports and I found out about a nearby baseball league that might be good for Benjamin. After fifteen or twenty minutes, Brandy and her husband had to leave, and my neighbor was starting the movie for the kids, so I made my exit as well. I had to get back home to change out of my sweats and put my face on to get ready for ...
The next party! The neighborhood moms' gathering was the same night. I got connected to this group while trick-or-treating Halloween night. As we were walking door to door, we met another two families with multiple kids, and one of the moms told me about the group. We exchanged contact info, and it was a while before I heard from her, but she got me on the group's e-mail list. The first gathering I attended was in December, and that one was super stressful for me because I knew no one going in. Even the woman whom I had met Halloween night wasn't there. But as always, my fears subsided as I began meeting other ladies who were friendly and welcoming. Still, I was a bit nervous about this second meeting, because I hadn't communicated with anyone much since the first one, and the same anxieties I mentioned earlier came creeping back.
The party was supposed to be from six to ten, and I arrived around seven, so there was already a good crowd there. The hostess greeted me and I reintroduced myself because I had only met her briefly at the previous party. I gave her my mocha brownies (thank you, Pioneer Woman!) and Sanpellegrino to take to the kitchen, and I put my coat and purse away. Then I walked toward a couple of ladies in conversation, one of whom I'd met before. I introduced myself and began talking with the other lady, and she followed me to the kitchen so I could get a drink. As we made our introductory remarks, I told her I was from Oklahoma, and she said, "Really, where in Oklahoma?" which is normally a sign that someone has a connection with the state. So I told her where we moved from, and she told me she grew up in Enid, OK! On top of that, her father was a pastor. So I don't know if it was the Okie thing or the pastor thing, but we hit it off and we were in conversation almost the whole evening.
I also got to catch up a bit with a couple other moms I'd met before, who actually remembered details about my family. So for the most part, my trepidation disappeared and I was really able to enjoy the night. I also made a new friend and connected better with a couple others that I hope to spend more time with in the future. Once again, nothing to fear after all. You'd think I'd learn ...
So our plans for the Superbowl were to go to our regular Sunday-night pizza hangout and watch on the TVs there. But Sunday morning a brother from church invited us, along with a few other church friends, over to his house for the game. I wasn't excited about changing our plans--I was looking forward to a night with just family at a familiar place, and our friend from church doesn't have young children, so I worried I wouldn't be able to enjoy the game with our kids running around a non-kid-friendly house. Plus I spent the whole day at church--morning service, then a ladies' meeting and then an early evening service, and I didn't know if I had the energy to be on with people through the evening. But Harvey thought we should go, and it was an offer of free food, so we headed over to their house.
We were the first church friends to arrive, and since it was still light and not too cold, Harvey took the kids outside to throw the football around with our host. I stayed in with Judah, and the man's daughter, who's single and in her twenties, sat down with me to talk. She goes to another church, but I already knew her a bit from our Wednesday night Bible study, which she usually attends. We began talking about clothes and shopping (a favorite topic of mine but I don't have many friends who share that interest) and hair--she had a style I liked and I was asking about it for Tabitha. So she and I talked until the food was ready and our other friends arrived. It turned out to be a fun night, and our kids played with other kids who were there, so I got to watch some of the game (if you could call it that!) and commercials with Harvey. We stayed until halftime, and then we took the kids home to get to bed.
So I survived a weekend of parties! Not only survived it but enjoyed it and learned from it. Which means I'm sure I will face the next party I attend with absolute confidence and eagerness to find what new and interesting face I'll meet, what friend I'll discover some obscure or obvious connection with. Or not. But as long as I'm in DC I can expect the unexpected when it comes to whom I'll meet and whom I'll connect with. (See my post The Reality Star for one example.) And whatever surprise meetings and discoveries are in store, they'll enrich my life and give me more to wonder at. Definitely worth the anxiety.
Comments
Post a Comment