The Aftermath

... but they weren't enough.

We cast our votes ...

The election is over.

As much as we are trusting the Lord right now, losing hurts. I feel a little guilty saying it, but I’m deeply disappointed. In a conversation we had recently, Harvey described perhaps why we are feeling this disappointment when we knew that we were the underdogs and losing was what everyone probably expected from us. It’s that we were hoping (maybe even expecting) for God to move in a Gideon- or David-type way and make the very person who is the least expected to win the one who comes out with the victory so that God would receive all credit and glory. We knew he would have to intervene miraculously in order for us to win—even to get to a runoff. He did not. And we are left wondering why. Why would he not want to glorify himself in that way? Why would he not want to make an example of our obedience and sacrifice by honoring them with victory? How does God receive glory when those who are expected to win—the ones with money and name recognition and a large base of support—win?

With my friend Michelle at the watch party

We realize that God does not owe us an explanation or an answer, and there is no way to find answers to those questions in the immediate aftermath of the loss. It may take years and years before we understand the purpose of these past six months and the resulting political loss, or we may never understand this side of heaven. And we are okay with that. But when you don’t understand something, it’s hard to see what you are supposed to learn from it or how to glorify God through it. Again, this is so fresh that we don’t yet have a proper perspective, but these are the initial reactions in our thoughts and hearts.

On top of our questions about the loss, there are the questions about what's next. We have some ideas, but who knows if or how or when any of them will materialize? There’s pastoring, working in politics (either locally or back in DC), the mission field. But any of those things could take weeks or months to open up, so what will we do in the mean time? I am eager to settle down somewhere again, but that is just not going to happen probably for another six months. We have no answers. We probably will have no answers for a while. It is exciting in a way, but I think I’ve had enough excitement the last few months and I’d just love some calm and certainty.

I’ve been thinking some about the good things that have come out of this campaign and our moving back to OKC so I can try to find a purpose in all of this. One thing is our relationship to family—our being able to spend so much time together. I’ve gotten to hang out with my sister-in-law more and get to know her friends, and our kids have gotten to have fun with their cousins.

Holding nephew Walker by the pool

Swimming with cousins Mason and Gage

Judah cuddling with cousin Hunter

The kids have grown closer to their grandparents, and our parents have gotten to experience and appreciate our kids' personalities more fully. I’ve spent lots of time with my dad knocking on doors, which he couldn't have helped me do if he hadn't recently retired. 

Enjoying Bricktown with Oma and Opa

Homeschooling was also good for me and for our family, especially Ben. It was an adjustment, and I don’t know if it’s going to be permanent for our family, but it opened my eyes to the benefits of homeschooling and made me understand why so many parents choose to do it.

I’m sure more and more things will unfold as we move forward—reasons why God wanted or at least allowed us to move back here and run. Right now I am trying to trust in his promises even when I can’t see how he’s working at the moment. I still know he is good and he loves us. He is our strength and our refuge. And he will supply every need of ours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Now I’m asking for his grace and peace to be with my spirit. 

Still plenty to smile about