The Clay

My blogging goal for the past year was to post at least once a month. I've met (though not exceeded) that goal so far, and this final post of 2019 is cutting it close. I could blame it on the holidays and the four-day road trip we just took through Mozambique to South Africa. Or on not feeling great since we arrived in Johannesburg. Thankfully, though, since we're eight hours ahead of CST, I've still got most of the U.S. day to get this thing posted.

The problem is, I wasn't sure what to write about. I'm still not certain. It's not that there's nothing to write about—actually the opposite is true. I've already posted on Facebook about the many sweet and joyous occasions that have made the past month special: a dreamy island anniversary trip, a cookie-decorating party, a night of carols, and then Christmas itself. 

I know that most of you who read my blog have already seen those things, and I could expand on any of them here. But somehow it seems like my final blog post of the year should be more reflective on the year as a whole, so while I still don't have it fully formed in my head, I'll give that a shot (trying my hardest not to make this too drawn-out and wordy, as I tend to do).

For my job as a missionary, I recently had to complete an annual review, reporting on my goals, accomplishments, and growth over the past year. Then I had a conversation with my supervisor about it. As we wrapped up our conversation, she asked me whether I could see a theme or share a verse that summed up what the Lord taught me or how He worked in my life over the past year. I felt a little put on the spot in that moment (love you, Amanda!), but it was a good question, and the Lord put on my heart the dual theme of His faithfulness and waiting on Him. In that moment, I thought of Psalm 27:13–14: "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

I thought of two stories from the past year that clearly demonstrated to me God's faithfulness and the importance of being willing to wait on Him. One was of a woman in our church who went through a serious trial involving the pastor of the mother church, which led to conflict in her marriage, and shortly after which she suffered a miscarriage. I had many visits with this woman through those difficult times, listening, praying, and sharing Scripture with her, yet she stopped coming to church (and communicating with me at all) for several months. However, we continued to pray for her, and in November she came back to church. Her husband also came to church, and both of them attended the class for candidates for baptism. Meanwhile, the pastor involved was disciplined, and he repented, apologized, and was restored. About two weeks ago, this woman and her husband were baptized—by that pastor. 

So there was a time when it seemed that this woman had fallen away from the church, and I didn't expect to see her again. But because of the power of God's love, His Word, and prayer, and after a season of waiting, we saw His goodness in her life, and she and her husband are now beginning their journey as baptized disciples.

A few days later, as I was reading through Isaiah during my personal daily Bible study time, I read these words: "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it" (55:10–11). And this promise describes perfectly the other story of God's faithfulness that I thought of in my conversation with my supervisor:

As I've mentioned previously in my blog, I had a short stint of teaching a group of preteen and teenage girls in partnership with a friend's ministry in Pemba. I was teaching them Bible stories through the Old Testament and New, emphasizing how every story points to Christ, with the intent of inviting them to follow Christ at the end of the story set. However, I had to stop teaching the group before I had the opportunity to offer that invitation. I was sad and disappointed to give up the group, because I didn't know whether the woman who continued to teach the group after my departure, a Mozambican believer, would follow through and eventually offer that invitation or not, but I prayed fervently that she would and that some of those girls would understand and follow Him. A few weeks later, I unexpectedly heard from my friend (the director of that ministry) that she visited the group and the day she was there, the teacher offered that invitation, and two of the girls who had been in the group with me from the beginning responded! 

I was overjoyed that these girls received Christ, that God allowed me to have a small role in their salvation experience, and that God was gracious to show me that my labor bore fruit. His Word accomplished what He sent it to do in the lives of those girls. The Word that I taught them did not return to Him empty!

Today as I completed my Bible reading plan for the year, I read this: "From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him ... But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand" (Isaiah 64:4, 8). And the words of verse 8 took my mind and heart to the lyrics of the hymn, "Have Thine Own Way, Lord":

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.

Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after Thy will

While I am waiting, yielded and still.

I love how this verse of the song ties the waiting (of Isaiah 64:4) with the clay and the work of the Potter (Isaiah 64:8). Often God takes time to shape us into who he wants us to be in Him. We wait, and He acts. This is exactly what happened in the two stories I mentioned above and in many other experiences in my life over the past year. It's in the waiting that we learn to trust in His faithfulness, to realize that the work is not dependent on us—we can't make things happen according to our will, our plan, our timing. He acts, and as He acts in His way and His timing, He molds and shapes the clay. He works, and we grow.

Well, so much for not being drawn-out and wordy. Thank you for reading this, for sharing in my experiences and ministry and what the Lord is teaching me. I want to close this year of blog posts with the final verse of "Have Thine Own Way, Lord," a fitting prayer for a lump of clay to its Potter:

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.

Hold o'er my being absolute sway.

Fill with Thy Spirit till all shall see

Christ only, always, living in me.

Amen. See you in 2020.