The Bitter-Mostly-Sweet Birthdays
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When it comes to birthdays, Harvey and I could not be more different. Harvey wants no attention or fuss on his birthday. No parties, no presents. If I ask him, he will simply request a certain meal or dessert he likes. He says the best way to spend his birthday is at home with us. A coronavirus-isolation birthday would suit him just fine. I might say that my birthday is not a big deal, but when Harvey says it, he truly means it.
I, on the other hand, am more like a kid. I like for my birthday to be remembered and acknowledged—by my family, of course, but also by close friends. It's important to me. I would love for a party to be thrown in my honor. I love presents! I at least want some special treatment, preferably a meal (or three) out. And I try not to get too down if people don't remember. (The turning-a-year-older part, however, is a completely different story. Let's just celebrate without mentioning any numbers or the word "older," please, sheesh.)
So this year, I was concerned that my birthday would be sort of a downer. I realize that I probably sound a little immature and selfish saying I need affirmation from others on my birthday in order to enjoy it—or even saying that in the grand scheme of things my birthday matters at all. But I was worried that because of various challenges in my life and in the world right now, my birthday would be boring and sad. There was every reason that it should have been.
One reason, of course, is coronavirus. Most restaurants in Pemba are still open and operating normally, but we have been advised to stay home as much as possible, to not take the risk of being in places where we will be exposed to groups of people. So no going out for breakfast, meeting a friend for coffee, or eating a beachside dinner (or dessert).
Another reason is my dad's health back in the States. For the past two and a half weeks he's been in the hospital and rehab and my mom can't see him. We've been waiting to hear where he will go next. And it's been so hard for me to be so far away from them through this time of suffering and transition. (That's a story for another post.)
So my expectation was that this birthday would be more bitter than sweet. But I'm happy to say I was wrong.
I woke up to breakfast in bed. I spent the morning relaxing, watching some of my favorite shows online. In the afternoon I went to a friend's house for a manicure (and one of her delicious coffees). Harvey made dinner, and he and the kids gave me some sweet presents. I didn't have to lift a finger to cook or clean all day.
On top of the royal treatment by my family, a few friends remembered my birthday and sent their greetings, wishes, and prayers. And perhaps the best moment of the day was when my mom called with my dad on speaker phone (from the rehab center) and they sang "Happy Birthday" together, a Schantz family birthday tradition. Then we ended the day with a movie and popcorn.
For being stuck in the house, it was a near perfect birthday for me. Even if it we hadn't been stuck in the house, I think I could have said the same thing.
And why? How can I explain this unexpected turn of events? A sweet birthday when it should have been bitter? A joyful birthday when it should have been sad?
I'm chalking it up to prayer. I know that many people were praying for me. Many people pray for our family generally, even if they didn't know it was my birthday. And many more prayed specifically for me on my birthday because it was my birthday. That's the only explanation I have. God knew that on that day, I needed His mercy and blessing. He knew that in that moment, a happy birthday would be an encouragement to keep me going in difficult days. (Maybe He also knew that a difficult birthday would have led me into a dark place.) I'm so grateful He knows just what we need, and He is gracious to provide it.
And He didn't just provide a sweet birthday for me—He gave Judah and Gracie the same gift. Judah, turning 9, had a sleepover with three of her closest friends, full of crafts, dolls, games, and sweet treats.
Gracie turned the big 13, and although she didn't get to see any friends in person, there were several moments that made her birthday special: our friends in town did a mini drive-by Happy Birthday parade in her honor, she video-chatted with her best friend in Nacala, she had a special birthday meal and dessert. She had a smile on her face all day. (Read some of Gracie's thoughts on turning 13 on her blog here.)
So in April 2020, what should have been bitter, or at best bittersweet, birthdays turned out to be mostly sweet. We don't deserve that, but our good God always does for us far more than we could ask or imagine. To Him be the glory. And we look forward to all the unexpected ways He will turn bitter into sweet in the coming year.
When it comes to birthdays, Harvey and I could not be more different. Harvey wants no attention or fuss on his birthday. No parties, no presents. If I ask him, he will simply request a certain meal or dessert he likes. He says the best way to spend his birthday is at home with us. A coronavirus-isolation birthday would suit him just fine. I might say that my birthday is not a big deal, but when Harvey says it, he truly means it.
I, on the other hand, am more like a kid. I like for my birthday to be remembered and acknowledged—by my family, of course, but also by close friends. It's important to me. I would love for a party to be thrown in my honor. I love presents! I at least want some special treatment, preferably a meal (or three) out. And I try not to get too down if people don't remember. (The turning-a-year-older part, however, is a completely different story. Let's just celebrate without mentioning any numbers or the word "older," please, sheesh.)
So this year, I was concerned that my birthday would be sort of a downer. I realize that I probably sound a little immature and selfish saying I need affirmation from others on my birthday in order to enjoy it—or even saying that in the grand scheme of things my birthday matters at all. But I was worried that because of various challenges in my life and in the world right now, my birthday would be boring and sad. There was every reason that it should have been.
One reason, of course, is coronavirus. Most restaurants in Pemba are still open and operating normally, but we have been advised to stay home as much as possible, to not take the risk of being in places where we will be exposed to groups of people. So no going out for breakfast, meeting a friend for coffee, or eating a beachside dinner (or dessert).
Another reason is my dad's health back in the States. For the past two and a half weeks he's been in the hospital and rehab and my mom can't see him. We've been waiting to hear where he will go next. And it's been so hard for me to be so far away from them through this time of suffering and transition. (That's a story for another post.)
So my expectation was that this birthday would be more bitter than sweet. But I'm happy to say I was wrong.
I woke up to breakfast in bed. I spent the morning relaxing, watching some of my favorite shows online. In the afternoon I went to a friend's house for a manicure (and one of her delicious coffees). Harvey made dinner, and he and the kids gave me some sweet presents. I didn't have to lift a finger to cook or clean all day.
For being stuck in the house, it was a near perfect birthday for me. Even if it we hadn't been stuck in the house, I think I could have said the same thing.
And why? How can I explain this unexpected turn of events? A sweet birthday when it should have been bitter? A joyful birthday when it should have been sad?
I'm chalking it up to prayer. I know that many people were praying for me. Many people pray for our family generally, even if they didn't know it was my birthday. And many more prayed specifically for me on my birthday because it was my birthday. That's the only explanation I have. God knew that on that day, I needed His mercy and blessing. He knew that in that moment, a happy birthday would be an encouragement to keep me going in difficult days. (Maybe He also knew that a difficult birthday would have led me into a dark place.) I'm so grateful He knows just what we need, and He is gracious to provide it.
And He didn't just provide a sweet birthday for me—He gave Judah and Gracie the same gift. Judah, turning 9, had a sleepover with three of her closest friends, full of crafts, dolls, games, and sweet treats.
Gracie turned the big 13, and although she didn't get to see any friends in person, there were several moments that made her birthday special: our friends in town did a mini drive-by Happy Birthday parade in her honor, she video-chatted with her best friend in Nacala, she had a special birthday meal and dessert. She had a smile on her face all day. (Read some of Gracie's thoughts on turning 13 on her blog here.)
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